Recently, I had the pleasure of chatting with Sister Kate (Christine Meeusen) to pick her brain about the women’s work. As our conversation evolved, she dropped copious amounts of wisdom on the subjects of marijuana, the divine feminine, and how the mainstream media continues to re-hash a lie about cannabis being a “Holy Trinity.”

Watch the interview below:

A recap:

The Sisters of the Valley farm was founded in 2014, shortly after Sister Kate became known as “Sister Occupy.” During our interview, she relayed that she donned a nun’s habit in response to authorities declaring pizza (due to the tomato sauce) a vegetable. According to her, the development was further evidence of America being a conquered and oppressed nation.

She said,

“I learned from my travels in Europe that you learn to tell the difference between a conquered nation and the conquerers. Go to where the people are conquered, and you see a shabby version of the conquerers.”

After leaving Europe following a messy divorce, “America looked to me like a conquered people,” she said. “We dress like a conquered people, we act like a conquered people. Also, the sign of a conquered people is that you fight against your leadership instead of with it.”

“I was very disgusted,” she added.

When Sister Kate joined the Occupy movement, she felt as if she had finally found her “people.” Those she marched with encouraged her to follow through with her plan of donning a nun’s habit, so she did. “Within one visit, the Occupy movement had dubbed me ‘Sister Occupy’,” said Sister Kate. Before long, supporters began asking how they could join the movement she had inspired. Her response was, “No, you don’t understand! I’m an activist, anarchist, single nun!” 

But eventually, she realized something did need to be organized. “That led to about a three-year discussion before Sisters of the Valley was formed,” she said.

Before Sister Kate declared herself a nun, she spent most of her time delivering CBD oil to the sick and “raising, cooking and cleaning” for a family with six kids. Because of this, she already felt like a nun. As a result, she didn’t find the lifestyle transition too difficult.

Sisterhood and the Divine Feminine

In the interview, Sister Kate goes on to explain that though the women implement pagan practices into their ceremonies, they don’t align with any one religion. Rather, most of their inspiration is drawn from the Beguine nuns, who were the precursors to the Catholic nuns.

She explained that the Beguine nuns were self-empowered, spiritually empowered, natural healers, and scholarly women. Because of this, they were considered “dangerous” and many of them were burnt at the stake. The Sisters of the Valley look to the Beguine nuns as their role models, because they hope to empower new generations of women don’t degrade or cheapen themselves to get ahead.

Sister Kate added that now is a very important time for women in history. This is because change is not only desired by both men and women, it is needed. And finally, females have an opportunity to do better than their husbands, fathers, brothers, etc… This isn’t to say men aren’t needed — in fact, the contrary is true. For sustainable, positive change to result as is intentioned, men and women need to work together.

The REAL Holy Trinity

When the Sisters of the Valley began sharing their vision with the world, journalists were eager to interview the change-makers. However, one reporter made a mistake and wrote that the Sisters of the Valley consider the cannabis plant to be the real Holy Trinity.

As Sister Kate incredulously explains in the interview, one thing cannot be a trinity.

“I think it’s hilarious, because a newspaper reporter said the cannabis plant is our holy trinity. How can one thing be a trinity? No one in the media called him on it,” she said.

However, because the media wouldn’t stop “whispering,” she ended up inventing three traits that make the cannabis plant a trinity. Said Sister Kate,

“Because so many people have said that the cannabis plant is our holy trinity, I actually, in the last couple of days, came up with a cannabis plant holy trinity analogy. That is, that the plant is compassionate, it is cooperative, and it is intelligent.”

So there you have it.

Why Women Should Plant Cannabis To Eliminate Crime

In addition to sharing several compelling anecdotes from people who have improved their conditions with CBD oil and CBD-containing lotions and tinctures, Sister Kate relayed how women can rid the world of criminals by planting CBD-rich strains — which are legal in all 50 states. She said,

“Order from Attitude Seed Bank, out of the UK, strains of seeds that are meant to be under 1 percent THC and over 10 percent CBD. And every women should take the seeds and grow them inside and outside in their yard, and grow them everywhere… Because, one time a thief would steal that weed and try to sell it, and the thieves would be killed because they’re going to sell it like it’s going to get someone high. They’re going to sell it for $1,000/lb, and they’re going to get killed and bingo — we’ve just wiped out all the thieves, and we’re free to go forward.”

“So, my point is women need to grow this everywhere. And then dare the law to shut them down. Because all the laws were made for psychoactive cannabis, not for hemp,” she concluded.

Please watch the full interview above, as Sister Kate talks about many more topics, including why people should use CBD oil, why the nuns’ crops are legal in all 50 states and can be distributed to other countries, the organization’s plan(s) to cultivate marijuana in Canada, and much, much more.

It was an amazing experience connecting with this activist. Sister Kate is proof that one person can make a positive difference in the world. Hopefully, her efforts inspire you. Learn more by visiting the Sisters of the Valley website and Facebook page.

What are your thoughts? Please comment below and share this news!

The first step to take is to focus on our breath while breathing in and out of our heart center. We can do this for some time, and then begin to deepen the breath by bringing it into the stomach while gently and lovingly guiding the breath as deep as it may go into the pelvis region. Then pause, and begin the inhale moving up through the body. See where the inhale stops, and then begin the whole process again. We can do this for some time until we feel at ease.

By focusing on our breath, we can tune into our very being and essence. This can be a form of meditation as well as a very healthy step to include in with other daily rituals of self-love, self-care and meditation.

Now let us tune into our heart. What is our heart trying to say? This may take some time as we are only now beginning to truly understand how important it is to listen to our heart. What is our heart trying to tell us about any given situation or emotion? The more this becomes a daily practice, the more the true safety of our very existence begins to become clear, and the more we begin to realize and make manifest our true hearts desire. On the outside, the more we practice this, the more we can become a part of co-creating a heart-based world.

“As we learn to tap into our heart’s intelligence, it increases our vitality, our resilience, and especially our health and happiness.”

-Dr. Rollin McCraty

Often the first instinct is to run away from these emotions and situations.  Now, if there is an environment or person who is unable to value and treat us as the beautiful souls we are, walking away and giving them space to heal what is going on within them can be a true act of love towards that person and our self. When we recognize that the behavior is not ours and is unwanted and harmful, we can walk away and bless them. Wish them well, wish them healing, and know that they have probably had a painful past that they need to heal. Forgive them, and move forward.

Forgiving does not mean this person or situation needs to ever be a part of our life again, yet it does allow us to create healing space for them while freeing us of the need to carry their emotions any longer.

Sometimes it can seem more difficult to let go and let the Universe handle the harm and destruction that takes place in the world around us. When there is injustice and great harm on the Earth, it is then most especially time for us to up our level of kindness, love, compassion, respect, humility, integrity and demonstrate what true healing is by being the light in times of darkness.

There is a very magical and powerful transformation from dark to light that takes place when individuals refuse to give up and give away their power, and instead up their game of self-love, self-care and kindness and compassion towards others.

“We have within us, a power that is greater than anything we shall ever contact in the outer, a power that can overcome every obstacle in our life and set us safe, satisfied and at peace, healed and prosperous, in a new light, and in a new life.”

Ernest Holmes

When we trust in our heart, follow our guidance, and discern what is right for our beautiful soul, we help the world to do so as well. There are situations and lessons that may arise, yet the more we learn to go within, and navigate them through our focused breath and heart space, the more we learn to let go and let the Universe, the more we learn to stand in our lighted power and walk into any darkness knowing by our very presence we will transform it.

Always remember, each one of us has a very beautiful and unique song to sing to the world. The more we shine our light like the stars we truly are, and the louder we sing our beautiful songs with our very own fragrance, the more the world responds with love. Let’s celebrate each other, let’s honor each other, and let us always remember that there is only one you and there is only one me. What are we waiting for, and when will we begin to light the world with our love? The time for me, and the time for you is now.

Let’s take three deep breaths together, tune in and turn up the love. Let’s follow the inner guidance of our heart so we can all arrive. We are growing, we are expanding, we are raising our consciousness and creating a new reality and thus a new world unlike any other. Yesterday already was, and tomorrow has yet to be, will you join us in filling today with hope, goodness, truth, love and beauty? We always have a choice. What will you choose?

Cover Image Credit: no more lookism discovered on Conscious Lifestyle Magazine

Ulonda Faye has a B.A. in Political Science and International Studies, and studied Peace and Conflict Research during her Masters program in International Relations. She survived a Near Death Experience during an accident that led her into Mind-Body-Spirit studies. She is a certified Wellness Practitioner, Rejuv Miracles Practitioner, and holistic esthetician as well as an ordained spiritual minister. Her services are available in person or through Skype and are offered in English and German. For more information, please visit fayenaturales.com

I was about 17 years old when I first heard of the December 2012 phenomenon. Although skeptical of doomsday theories and esoteric predictions, it was the trigger that led me down the internet rabbit hole, where I spent hours upon hours of research on subjects ranging from alien beings communicating with planet earth, to our debt-based monetary system calling for a mass revolution.

I have never been the same since. I knew these ideas seemed far-fetched to most people, yet within this maze of alternative information; I still was able to find gems of truth reminding me that there was more to life than what I’d been told. That I wasn’t “broken” just because I didn’t fit in this world or had talents that weren’t valued in school. That maybe it is society that is broken… and that my mission was to help transform it.

I am now 26 years old, and I still stand by what I said. I still feel deep within my bones that we are in the midst of a mass consciousness shift where the status quo is rapidly losing credibility. I still believe that a world where we destroy the earth for profit and hoard wealth while others starve is unnecessary. I still believe I am here to shake things up and make a change. Yet I also believe that the whole new age / conspiracy whirlwind of information out there may be slowing down the very same personal and collective evolution it promotes.

“I can stand here and talk to you about the field of infinite possibilities, but what do you DO with that?” – Dan Millman

New Age & Conspiracy Information: Distracting Us From Our True Power And Purpose?

Don’t get me wrong. In no way do I want to discredit the value in information that helps highlight society’s ills and open the mind to new possibilities. It has been a crucial part of my own path… but one that I had to outgrow in order for me to truly grow up.

Let me explain. Learning about the latest government scheme, astrology forecast and health craze has its place, but ultimately; it is not the thing that will MAKE you a better human being. It is not the thing that makes you a more caring and loving person, or bring you strength, spirit and resiliency in challenging times. Dissecting the subject of quantum physics, knowing the names and colors of all your chakras, waiting for an extraterrestrial disclosure or scrutinizing a politician’s every move won’t necessarily help you be a positive player in your community, or bring you the focus and practical wisdom needed to get your life together. Information lives in your head. It is the quality of your being that determines how well you participate in the dance of life.

“Ultimately, information is as valuable as its usefulness to our daily lives.” – UpliftedLife.com

A Friend And Mentor Who Taught Me To Embrace The Basics

Ideas, words and concepts are everywhere, flooding our newsfeeds on a second-to-second basis. The trick is to ask ourselves: can I put this information to good use? Will this benefit my life? Can this help me grow into the best version of myself if I apply it?

My dear friend and mentor Kosta Stoyanoff, the founder of Uplifted Life, continually reminded me of this ever since I met him back in 2015. He would also remind me that all the inspiring quotes I post on Facebook or truths I intellectually understand will never replace the value of even the tiniest and seemingly ordinary steps I can take within my own life. Things like washing the dishes with care, eating a meal slowly, being grateful for what I have, taking more deep breaths throughout the day, being attentive and caring to my wonderful mother, and taking more time to really be there for the “little things” in life.

He would tell me that these small humbling shifts in my attention, perspective, thoughts and attitude would not only add up to a HUGE shift in my health, abundance and happiness levels, but would become the solid foundation on which I could begin doing truly meaningful work from a space of love rather than ego.

“The beginnings of all great things are small.” – Cicero

Now you’d think Kosta’s loving advice made it easy for me to commit to making those fundamental shifts. But the truth is, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t slow down my monkey mind just yet. Although I nodded in agreement, my ego squirmed at the idea and I instead spent about one more year searching for more. For something “bigger”, more glamorous and revolutionary than simply getting in touch with “ordinary life”…

I thought I needed to spend more time digging into childhood traumas and past lives to justify my wounds. I still searched for miracle supplements that would fix the health issues I was experiencing. I got involved in ambitious projects that I believed would change the world… without me having to change. I searched for everything and anything except what would bring me face to face with my own power and responsibility to transform from the inside out.

At the end of that year, I was more confused and disillusioned than ever before. My health had plummeted. My stress levels were still high. I was everything but at peace with myself—even after all the dizzying “self-work” I thought I was doing. That’s when I reached out to my good ol’ trusty friend Kosta again and said “I finally get it. I am ready to go back to the basics.“

“You don’t truly understand something until you apply it. Same goes for wisdom.” – UpliftedLife.com

When I Finally Began To Walk The Talk

Little-by-little, I began contemplating the ways in which I lived my life. I noticed just how much of my attention was fragmented in dozens of useless places—from ingenuine relationships to mindless smartphone usage. I began observing how often I would engage in defeatist self-talk despite all my “positive” Facebook posts. I saw how my mind would create an abundance of stories about what’s “missing” in my life, while ignoring the wonderful blessings all around me. And finally, I realized that the same amount of power, belief and attention I put in negative thought patterns, I could instead use to fuel more positive perspectives and beneficial day-to-day habits. It sure sounds simple, and it is! But it seems like for most of us, the challenge of a lifetime is to let go of our attachment to an old story of self that gets in the way of us remembering and applying the most basic of truths.

“It is easy to think about complex things, but often difficult to apply the simplest things. The former can be entertaining, but the latter is where we get to grow and transform our lives.” – UpliftedLife.com

It’s Not About You

We think that “self-development” is all about getting our own lives straight. And yes, that’s a wonderful benefit! but the real beauty in becoming the best version of ourselves is how it positively impacts the lives of those around us. Whether you are a stay-at-home Mom, serve coffee for a living or are CEO of a company; evolving into your highest, most loving and kindest self is no small feat. It means children who will grow up to be wiser and more loving citizens of earth. It means customers who will go back to their workspaces and families with a lighter heart. It means companies who will shift from self-serving motives to a greater purpose.

This is why going back to the basics is more than just a “cute thought”. When applied and embodied, they change your life. And when millions live by them, they change the world.

“Whether you accept it or not, each life is linked to all life. Your state of being, thoughts, words and actions create a ripple effect; much like a stone thrown into a pond. The quality of that ripple effect… is your legacy.” – Kosta Stoyanoff

Click here to start seeing content like this in your newsfeed 🙂

If you resonate with my story and believe the world needs more of such reminders, you will enjoy what Kosta, myself and the team behind Uplifted Life have been working on for the past few years. Uplifted Life is a hub of transformational resources, but not the fluffy pie-in-the-sky type. What you will discover here are simple, practical and effective tools and teachings revealing the fundamental principles to living life well and leaving a beautiful legacy behind.

Check out our first introductory video below and like us on facebook to follow our evolution and be supported in your own journey of becoming the best version of yourself! 🙂

Three Basic Motivational Factors

According to humanistic psychology, we have three basic motivational factors that determine the birth of personal identity. One is the need to belong to somebody, the other is the need of safety, and the third is the need of appreciation.

These demands or needs appear in our life in the order listed above, and they are hierarchically connected to each other. It means that the need of safety only becomes important when our need to belong to somebody has already been satisfied, at least to a minimum extent. Similarly, the need of appreciation will be important when we already belong to somebody (it can be an individual or a group), and our need of safety, stability has been met to a certain degree.

Satisfying these needs is of primary importance for us, as they provide the foundations for our individual existence and personal identity.

All this also suggests that our personal identity is basically social, as belonging to somebody, safety and appreciation all depend on other people.

 The foundations of our personal identity are constructed in the first years of our life, when we are embedded in the society of our family. Our parents are the ones who help us satisfy our needs, and in this way lay down the foundation stones of our separate, individual existence.

In the Safety of our Soap-Bubble Castle

Our parents and teachers ”blow up” the soap-bubble for us, when they satisfy our initial needs, and we soon regard our soap-bubble as our own personal identity. In the course of our life, we develop the soap-bubble into a soap-bubble castle that we regard as safe. Since we have no idea that we are soap-bubble people, we are immensely proud of our own soap-bubble, the construction diary of which is added to our own personal history.

Our soap-bubble castle does not stand alone in some desert; it stands in one of the streets of a nice soap-bubble town, close to the other soap-bubble castles, as the need to belong to someone, our needs of safety and of appreciation will only be satisfied in interaction with other soap-bubble people.

But, as a consequence of our soap-bubble existence, all these needs will never be completely satisfied, as the walls of our soap-bubbles do not allow real connection and contact with others.

The walls of the soap-bubble are created by our sense of separation which destines us to eternal solitude, even if there are hundreds of other soap-bubble people around us in our soap-bubble town. In order to alleviate the unpleasantness of loneliness, we decorate our soap-bubble existence with nice images made of the individuality of our life, and we fill books with nice tales of our life. The images, the tales and the alleged safety of the soap-bubble town lull us into a false sense of security, into a beautiful dream.

False Sense of Safety

There are numerous signs in our life that all indicate how false our sense of safety is. One sich sign is the confusion in our relationships with other people. This confusion is brought about the fact that as soap-bubble people we will never be able to completely understand the others, and will never be able to come into real contact with them.

We are only able to contact other people through the walls of our soap-bubble, but the wall is tinted into different, distorting colours by our desires and opinions. The distorting coat of colours will be thicker and thicker in the course of our life, making the originally transparent walls more and more difficult to see through. We therefore never see reality itself, but only something that we believe is reality.

Every single individual created their own individual reality in this way, and the reality thus created is different from all the other individual realities.

As there are no two identicial individual realities, the realities, when get into contact, often collide with each other. Naturally, there are realities which are similar to each other, and the force of collision is smaller when such realities meet, and it is likely that they are able to come into a compromise and create a district in the soap-bubble town where they enjoy a higher sense of safety.

Another sign that points at the weaknesses of our sense of safety is the fear of death, which is present in every human being.

Enveloped in the false sense of security of our soap-bubble castle, we are all afraid of death, which will put an end to our soap-bubble existence. The big unknown arrives, and bursts our soap-bubble castle in an instant.

We may pretend that death does not exist, that after death we will be in a bigger soap-bubble, or the master who blows the soap-bubbles will protect us from perishing.

These tales only alleviate our fear of death somewhat, but will not fully eliminate it.

The End of the Soap-Bubble Existence

What is able to put an end to the soap-bubble existence?

The first step is the recognition that our existence is built upon false foundations, that there is something wrong with it.

Without realizing that, we so strongly identify with our soap-bubble existence that we consider that as our basic and natural state.

But if we start to wake up from the dream of our soap-bubble existence, we realize very soon that there is something wrong with us in the world around us. Then the glue binding us to the world of forms and shapes begins to melt away, a space, smaller or larger, is created in us and-detached from the forms and shapes-we are able to contemplate the forces determining our personal life as eyewitnesses.

Now we realize that this soap-bubble life, this separate world does not exist at all, it has only been created by our identification with thoughts, forms and shapes.

The obligation and urge to build up a personal identity generates this separation, this soap-bubble around us almost automatically. Society then feeds and sustains the separation.

What are we without our personal identity?

When we wake up from the sleep of personal identity we recognize that we are the free space of the Consciousness. We are not identical with the shapes and forms appearing in this space, but we are the space itself, the space that enables the forms and shapes to appear and that keeps the forms and shapes alive.

~From the book: Frank M. Wanderer: The Biggest Obstacle to Enlightenment: How to Escape from the Prison of Mind Games?

Read more articles from Frank M. Wanderer

1.  Ordinary Consciousness

This is the lowest level of the evolutional process of the Consciousness. Ordinary Consciousness is rooted in, and feeds on, past times. The present moment is less important for it, it is only a gateway leading to a future we long for. Future is nothing but an improved and beautified version of the past, a future in which we will be successful in the all the things in which we have failed in the past. For ordinary consciousness, only past and future exist, it lives in those and feeds on those.

In that state of Consciousness the appreciation and opinion of others are very important for us. We want to meet the expectation directed at us, we are pleased to play the social roles that are dictated by our community. We thrive to be good parents, a good husband or wife, useful employees and law abiding citizens. Our willingness to play these roles is caused by our complete identification with those roles. Our entire indentity is based upon those roles. We do not look for true answers to the question ”Who am I?;” we are content to be told that by others.

In the state of ordinary Consciousness, the dominant character of our life is the Ego; we wish to make it larger, brighter and more individual. That is why we are learning, gathering knowledge from others, until the end of our life, in the belief that we will thus become more and more intelligent. Still, we become less and less self-confident, and we do not have enough courage to face the challenges of life on our own. We therefore need a guide, a support. We do not long for complete freedom, we follow pre-determined rules and respect authority.

2.  Spiritual Awakening

The advent of that level is indicated by moments in our life when we wake up from our ordinary life, and recognize the reality that we in fact live in the captivity of our thoughts, emotions and social roles. Under the effect of those moments, a profound desire for freedom and truth arises in us. We then begin to search for the paths leading to the desired freedom. We intend to become more conscious and alert, to find the truth for ourselves about who we are and what our mission in the world is.

We no longer want to obey the old rules, old leaders, traditions and authorities. We no longer accept ready-made, second-hand theories and explanations. We are not ready to depend on the opinion of others any more. Instead, we want to acquire knowledge and experience from the world for ourselves. We take pleasure in discovering new things, and we embark on new journeys without fear.

It is at that level that real self-control is created in us. This self-control is not rooted in fear of punishment or hope of reward. Many people are able to develop a high degree of self-control in the fear of Hell or the hope of Heaven, or merely because they want to work together with something they regard as larger than themselves. That kind self-control will, however, only produce temporary results, since it is the based upon suppression. Its maintenance requires constant effort from us. If, for some reason, the degree of effort declines, the suppressed desires, anger and emotions burst out, causing us even more suffering.

Real self-control is not born in us out of suppression, but out of the recognition and understanding of the meaning of Life. That kind of self-control will liberate our Consciousness from the state of identification with the world of Shapes and Forms. It will create a space between us and the functions of the Mind, and in that space the ability of seeing and understanding will be born.

Real self-control does not have any rules, and there is nobody around to tell us how to do that. Everybody must create that self-control in themselves without any external pressure, putting aside all kinds of authorities, and using their own personal experience. Everything created for us by others is transitory, but what we create for ourselves will be lasting and permanent. Everybody must find himself or herself what he or she is looking for.

 3. Complete Freedom

This is the highest peak in the evolution of the Consciousness. The most important characteristic feature of this level is alertness, the acceptance of the present moment, an openness to the existence, and a celebration of life.

In that state of Consciousness an entirely new dimension of Existence opens up for us, showing us Existence from a completely new perspective. The unity behind the controversies is revealed in front of our eyes, and we no longer insist on looking on the sunny side of life, as we are able to discover beauty on the dark side, too.

We accept life as it is, and it is not done under pressure, since that acceptance is the result of our complete freedom. The freedom is, in turn, a fruit of our escape from the world of Shapes and Forms. We have understood and experienced the process of awakening. The time has come for us to take control over our mind whenever it is required by the circumstances. When we do not need the work of the mind directly, let us give it some rest.

Everything will be quiet and peaceful in us. We are beyond all good and evil, we are a mere Consciousness that does not analyse or judge, only contemplates. We realize that the same contemplating soul lives in everybody, so the differences between human beings are only superficial, and deep inside we are all the same. Experiencing that unity will bring us the extasis of Life, the perfect joy of Existence.

From the book: Frank M. Wanderer:  3 Stages in the Evolution of the Human Spirit EGO – ALERTNESS – CONSCIOUSNESS 

Read more articles from Frank M. Wanderer

Where is Your Soul on the Path of Consciousness Evolution?

 Why not complete the following

Conscious Alertness Quiz

Yesterday night, I realized that I’ve been way too hard on myself when it comes to getting past old wounds and insecurities. I saw that most of my stress and struggle were not because going through so-and-so emotion or challenge was so difficult. It was because of my incredibly stress-inducing reaction to every new dis-ease coming my way.

Here’s an extreme example of such a reaction:

“What’s this emotion now? Where is it from? OH, not those daddy issues again? I thought I was over that! Is there something else I don’t know? Maybe I should buy this book about abandonment issues. Maybe I should go meditate and dig some more into past traumas… or maybe past lives! Or maybe i’ll just go eat a whole bag of chips and 2 chocolate bars. Actually… I’ll just go post a meme about it. With my bag of chips and chocolate.”

“What happens when you begin to feel uneasy, unsettled, queasy? Notice the panic where you instantly grab for something.” – Pema Chödrön

It seems that many philosophies in the spiritual/personal development realm are all about endless psychoanalysis of our emotions and digging into ten thousand “hows” and “whys” — all aiming at explaining why we feel a certain way. I’m not saying there isn’t value in understanding the roots of our wounds. Actually… it is a must! But once you’ve touched it, once you’ve fully seen it and felt it… you don’t need to keep touching it. You don’t need to keep poking at it further whenever there is a little flare up, or fuel it with a hundred more stories about why you are so wounded still. You can just LET. IT. BE.

This is something I am basically just learning now. Having a strong and stubborn intellect, I’ve always been into “trying to figure it all out”. Trying to fix things with my head. But there is a time and place for putting the mind at use, and there is a time and place for simply allowing ourselves to be as we are; present, open and gentle with ourselves.

You don’t intellectualize your way into loving and being there for a child, for example. You don’t read books about psychology to a kid that simply needs you to be there and hold their hand. In the same way, we sometimes just need to BE there for ourselves, without saying anything. Without trying to fix anything or talk ourselves out of whatever we may be feeling. Sometimes, to heal, we just need to be there, and that’s it. And I don’t mean curling into the foetus position and cry a river because “we should throw ourselves into a dramatic purging process every time an emotion says hi.” You can do that if it feels natural to you, but where I am getting at is that shifting from one state to another can also be accomplished with the lightest of touches, as my wise friend Kosta Stoyanoff would say. With a gentle acknowledgment of what you are feeling, a smile of compassion, and a willingness to continue moving forward even if you aren’t feeling “perfect” yet.

“As long as our orientation is toward perfection or success, we will never learn about unconditional friendship with ourselves, nor will we find compassion. ” ― Pema Chödrön

See, the only reason I’m writing this blog right now is because last night, I’ve decided to put the cellphone and distractions down for a few hours and just be there with what I’m feeling. I recognized my anxious feelings of not “being enough” and of this moment not “being enough” as products of an old train of thought that has never before led me to a happier and more fulfilled space anyways. So instead of treating it as this big ol’ monster requiring 10 more hours of psychoanalysis and anxious “figuring things out”, I simply let it be. I sort of said “Hey, I recognize you. You can stick around or whatever, but I’m just going to feel this out and not listen to your suggestions of finding yet another way to run away. I will just stay here and be okay in this moment with myself.”

Doing this shifted me out of this overwhelming fight-or-flight mode and provided me this single insight that I swear is going to be a game changer for me from now on. I already feel more relaxed. I already feel like I can move forward and be a better friend to myself. Growth doesn’t have to be a constant battle with yourself. It can be a wonderful, supportive relationship between your mind and soul. This is what I want to build my life on. No wonder I’ve been struggling with internet addiction, attention-seeking, sugar cravings and distraction binges lately. I’ve been beating myself up for it wondering what’s been wrong with me… but the truth is ANYONE would want to escape from the stressful and pressuring relationship I’ve been having with myself. It is even understandable that my poor mind would want to take a break from myself with food, social media newsfeeds or whatever else can take my mind off the bully inside of me. But that bully is me. It’s always been me against me. The beautiful thing though… is that it can also be me supporting me. Me loving me. Me being patient, kind and gentle to me. We all hear and say that we need to be more kind, gentle and loving people… no reason this shouldn’t apply to ourselves. 🙂

“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ― Pema Chödrön

I believe that being more gentle and easy with our internal ebbs and flows is what provides us the perfect environment and space to actually heal and flourish. It’s kind of like providing a child with the love, patience, wisdom, care and space he or she needs to thrive and grow into the best version of themselves. You don’t punish a child for falling down when they are learning how to walk. You don’t ignore them or run away in fear either. You understand that they are just calibrating their balancing muscles and are learning as they go. Growing as a human being is also a process of learning as we go; a natural one. You don’t grow a flower by pulling on it. You simply give it sunlight and water and let it flourish at its own space. You can’t control your own or anyone else’s growth, you can only support it.

Would you rather have a controlling or a supporting friend? A controlling or a supporting parent? If you’re like me, you probably resonate with the latter. So let’s go ahead and be what we seek. 🙂

“There are more than enough voices in this world that will weigh you down by telling you that you are “not enough” of something or other… Don’t let yours be one of them.” – Kosta Stoyanoff

We request you to have a brief rest on your spiritual Journey and play with us for a few minutes. What you need is a blank sheet of paper, a pen, and half an hour of free time. If you have all these, the game may start!

Let’s Play!

Before starting, please divide the sheet into four equal parts, and number the parts clockwise, starting in the upper left corner. The first task is to ask yourself the question:

What Do I Think of Myself?

  Who am I? What kind of a person am I? How could I describe myself?

In box no. 1 enter all thoughts that you have about yourself. It is important to answer not only the question “Who am I?” (e. g. I am a human being, a man, woman, husband etc.) but also to the question “What kind of a person am I?” (e. g. I am honest, I do not forgive easily etc.). If you have a break, you do not have any idea for a few minutes, no problem; do not give up. Be patient, perhaps some important information that you have not yet written down, will come to your mind. If nothing important comes, finish the task.

The next turn in the game is to count how many expressions you have used to characterize yourself. Enter the figure into the lower left corner. When ready, examine the terms and decide whether they are positive, negative or neutral. In the end, count the positive, negative and neutral terms you have used to describe yourself. Write these numbers into the lower right corner.

As the second task of the game, ask yourself the following question:

What kind of a person I would like to be?

Enter every idea that comes to your mind about it into box no. 2 on the sheet. When you have run out of ideas, finish the exercise.

As the third task of the game, ask yourself this question:

What kind of a person would other people (my husband, wife, children, boss etc.) like to see me?

In box no. 3 of the sheet write down every idea that occurs to you about this question. When you have run out of ideas, finish the exercise.

As the fourth task of the game, ask yourself this question:

 What kind of a person am I in other people’s eyes?

In box no. 4 of the sheet write down every idea that occurs to you about this question. When you have run out of ideas, finish the exercise.

If you have some more time, you can do this task together with your wife, husband, children, friends etc. In this way you will be given a more detailed image of what kind of a person others see you.

When the four numbered fields of the paper are no longer empty in front of you, the first part of the game is completed.

 These are notions and ideas, obtained with the questions, that constitute your image of yourself.

Why is the Self-Image Important?

Before continuing the game, let us have a look at the self-image and its role in our life.

Self-image is the mental image that we have about ourself.  The first thing we notice about this image is that it consists of several components.

One of the important components is the actual self-image. This is the cluster of the characteristics that we can use to describe ourselves at the actual moment.

In the first half of our game we dealt with this actual self-image, this is what the answers in box no.1 of your sheet contain.

The actual self-image has two major dimensions. One is the complexity of the self-image. Look at the number of the terms you used to characterize yourself (figure in the lower left corner). The higher that number is, the more terms you find on the page, and the more complex, more elaborate your self-image is. The other dimension of the self-image is its quality, that is, whether we talk about a positive or a negative self-image. If you compare the respective numbers of the positive and negative adjectives you used to describe yourself (figures in the lower right box), you will have an idea about the quality of your self-image. Usually, positive characteristics outnumber negative ones in people’s self-image. If there are no negative adjectives at all, or only very few, next to the positive ones, the self-image of the person concerned is unbalanced, overtly positive. This is the case the other way around, too; that is, if your self-image is too negative.

We all make efforts to sustain our self-image once it has evolved, and it is true whether the self-image is positive or negative. It means that a too positive or too negative self-image may distort our sense of reality, as a self-image screens the vast amount of information arriving to us from the outside world, only letting through the items of information that reinforce the quality of our self-image. Therefore, a person with an excessively negative self-image, with a rather low opinion of his/her own person, will be a lot more sensitive to negative opinions and judgments coming from the extarnal world than to any positive feedback. That is also true the other way around.

The following component of our self-image is the ideal self-image. That is what we would like to possess. The answers written in box no.2 of your sheet constitute this component of your self-image. Now all you need to do is survey the difference between your actual and ideal self-images. If the difference is small, the ideal image supplies energy, enthusiasm to you, and leads you to the right direction. But if the difference is large, depression, a sense of failure may overcome you.

The third component of our self-image is the “I should have” self-image. It comprises the characteristic features that we believe we should possess (these are largely in connection with commitments, duties and responsibilities). Entries in box no.3 describe these features. Now, examine the difference between your actual self-image and the ”I should have” self-image. If the difference is small, the ”I should have” self-image supplies you pleasant feelings and satisfaction. too large a difference, on the other hand, may cause restlessness and anxiety.

The fourth important component of the self-image is the social self-image. It consists of the evaluation of our personality by other people. This is an important point of orientation within the self-image, as we may reinforce or change certain elements of the complete image. The difference between our social self-image and actual self-image is reflected in our self-evaluation. Box no.4 on the answer sheet contains a description of that self-image. Now, your task is to compare your actual self-image and your social self-image. If there is a harmonic relationship between the two, you tend to see yourself the way other people see you, your self-evaluation and self-esteem are in order. If the difference is too large, your self-evaluation is unstable. That, in turn, determines the quality of your mental and emotional life.

A surprising twist

Now, that we know everything about self-image, and you have analyzed your own, we may continue the game.

Place the answer sheet containing your self-image in front of you. So far, we have been paying our attention to the thoughts and ideas on the sheet. We suggest that now you should focus on the white sheet itself, on which you wrote the ideas.

Let us draw your attention to a surprising thing.

You are not the carefully elaborated self-image written on the sheet of paper, but the white page itself, the mental space into which the ideas are projected.

 Consider the truth of that surprising statement.

Return your attention to the writing on the page, that is, your self-image. The descriptions belong to the “I am this or that,” “I am like this or that” categories. In the following, we only deal with that category, the self is interesting for us, and disregards its qualities. Now try to find that I. Close your eyes, and turn your attention inward, asking yourself the question: Who am I?

Your mental self-image you drafted in the first part of the game pops up in your mind immediately, and says: “You are this and that!” Disregard that now, as you are familiar with that, analyzed it extensively in the first part of the game. You are now looking for something else. Try to concentrate on the field in which the mental images appear.

It may seem to be difficult, the more difficult the more powerfully you have identified with your self-image, the mental image you believed you were identical with.

The fact that you are still doing this exercise means that your self-image no longer completely fills your mental space, you are able to detach yourself from it to some extent. The space thus liberated, and the Presence appearing in it is now observable to you, your attention is able to grab it. Only focus on that space, that Presence, and you will find sour real Self beyond the mind and thoughts.

From the book>> : Frank M. Wanderer: The Surprising Truth: Yourself as You’ve Never Seen it Before

Read more articles from Frank M. Wanderer

When they do find someone to have a relationship with, it is exciting and fulfilling for a few months, or maybe a few years. When the original feelings come up again, they start blaming the other person for their loneliness, depression, self-hate and their unhappy life, and may even start to hate the other person. The other person, in turn, may dim their own light, by demanding your energy, time, and your personality.

It is their fear, their pain and their depression that starts chasing you, sucking your energy and imprisoning your beautiful free soul. You may do the same to them because of your own emptiness. This is not what you were looking for!

NOTHING outside of yourself, not a relationship or another person, will ever bring you true happiness, fulfillment or peace of heart. You are your own hero, your own lover, your own answer to all of your prayers, and your own TRUE LOVE.

Nothing outside of yourself will ever truly satisfy you

Today is the day to become your own True Love! Start to love every aspect of yourself, including all of your Darkness and your Light. Start to appreciate and love your own personality; become your own best friend. Find out what nourishes your soul, and find the sacredness in each moment: Take a walk in the forest. Talk to the spirits. Watch funny movies in your bed. Create art, or write from deep inside of your soul. Start to embrace all that you are in your divinity. Stop waiting for something or someone outside of you. YOU are what you’ve been looking and waiting for the whole time. Stop searching, stop demanding. Each of us is a free, sovereign spirit, meant only to share and celebrate our true essences together. Nurture yourself and listen to your inner voice. Get to know YOU! Give yourself all that you need and want as you start to become aware of yourself.

Self-Mastership

Find your way HOME to you, set others free, and thrive in your mastery

You can never be lonely when you actually listen, breathe, talk and feel your own spirit. You must be willing to do some deep soul searching. This means feeling the emotions that are stuck in your energetic field, acknowledging them, and releasing them by crying, breathing, moving the body, or any other way you feel compelled to. Listen to your own knowing. Make changes in your life to start living your true path, the one that makes you and others come alive! Stop blaming the past, and live in the now. Find your passion and purpose, and start enjoying every moment you are creating. This is finding your way home to YOU!

An outside relationship will only be satisfying when two people have found themselves and if the two people are willing to see that they are individual souls that came to earth for their own journey, their own insights, and their own lessons. Do not be afraid that the other person will go away and leave you. Another person can only stay because of free will. A slave cannot be in loving relationship with a free person. Two free people in loving relationship can give each other wings!

If you love a person, and they cannot be free because of your fears, stop the fear now. Stop the thoughts. Stop projecting your fears, past pains and lost hopes on them. Show the other person that you love them by transforming the pain and suffering into bliss and LOVE by doing your work and finding your way home to YOU. Become the energetic master that you are!

Stop Loneliness In relationships

Let both you and your significant other be free, my friend. Let them shine. Let them fly. You are both the transformation the world needs to see. You are both the “one” that can change the world by following your own earthly journey. You can only love another by giving them soul freedom and by stopping all behaviors of energetic demanding, fearing and draining. They may be an angel on your path if they have led you to all of this awareness so that now, you can now find your way HOME to YOU. If they are the one with this behavior, you may be the angel on their path that gives them awareness and peace someday. Most people were brought together for a reason in this lifetime, although many times it is not the reason you originally thought: to finally “make you happy and fulfilled”. The divine Universe has led you to uncover the LIGHT and LOVE that YOU are through these broken connections, and the resulting awareness.

Become your own True Love

Start to be the master you are by truly connecting with yourself this very day. Pray. Meditate. Cry. Say sorry to your significant other for enslaving them, and say sorry to yourself for creating all that you have lived up until this point. No one can alleviate your deep loneliness. You are simply longing for YOU! Start to love yourself at this very moment.

Resonate with people who vibrate on a higher level to compliment your life

If your significant other is not willing to do their work, acknowledge, or stop their energetic demands on you, the kindest thing you can do for both of you, is walk away. Surround yourself with aware people who listen to and honor their souls and inner knowing. Surround yourself with people who have a high vibration, who resonate with their heart, who do not energetically pull and demand from you, who let you FLY! These people give off LIGHT and LOVE because of their enthusiasm for their own journey and their passion for themselves! These are the relationships that will strengthen and nurture you as you step into your own Self Mastery! These are the connections you have always dreamed to have with other humans, all possible now that you have found YOU!

Live the life of your dreams. Now. Today.

You are the biggest love of your life!