When they do find someone to have a relationship with, it is exciting and fulfilling for a few months, or maybe a few years. When the original feelings come up again, they start blaming the other person for their loneliness, depression, self-hate and their unhappy life, and may even start to hate the other person. The other person, in turn, may dim their own light, by demanding your energy, time, and your personality.

It is their fear, their pain and their depression that starts chasing you, sucking your energy and imprisoning your beautiful free soul. You may do the same to them because of your own emptiness. This is not what you were looking for!

NOTHING outside of yourself, not a relationship or another person, will ever bring you true happiness, fulfillment or peace of heart. You are your own hero, your own lover, your own answer to all of your prayers, and your own TRUE LOVE.

Nothing outside of yourself will ever truly satisfy you

Today is the day to become your own True Love! Start to love every aspect of yourself, including all of your Darkness and your Light. Start to appreciate and love your own personality; become your own best friend. Find out what nourishes your soul, and find the sacredness in each moment: Take a walk in the forest. Talk to the spirits. Watch funny movies in your bed. Create art, or write from deep inside of your soul. Start to embrace all that you are in your divinity. Stop waiting for something or someone outside of you. YOU are what you’ve been looking and waiting for the whole time. Stop searching, stop demanding. Each of us is a free, sovereign spirit, meant only to share and celebrate our true essences together. Nurture yourself and listen to your inner voice. Get to know YOU! Give yourself all that you need and want as you start to become aware of yourself.

Self-Mastership

Find your way HOME to you, set others free, and thrive in your mastery

You can never be lonely when you actually listen, breathe, talk and feel your own spirit. You must be willing to do some deep soul searching. This means feeling the emotions that are stuck in your energetic field, acknowledging them, and releasing them by crying, breathing, moving the body, or any other way you feel compelled to. Listen to your own knowing. Make changes in your life to start living your true path, the one that makes you and others come alive! Stop blaming the past, and live in the now. Find your passion and purpose, and start enjoying every moment you are creating. This is finding your way home to YOU!

An outside relationship will only be satisfying when two people have found themselves and if the two people are willing to see that they are individual souls that came to earth for their own journey, their own insights, and their own lessons. Do not be afraid that the other person will go away and leave you. Another person can only stay because of free will. A slave cannot be in loving relationship with a free person. Two free people in loving relationship can give each other wings!

If you love a person, and they cannot be free because of your fears, stop the fear now. Stop the thoughts. Stop projecting your fears, past pains and lost hopes on them. Show the other person that you love them by transforming the pain and suffering into bliss and LOVE by doing your work and finding your way home to YOU. Become the energetic master that you are!

Stop Loneliness In relationships

Let both you and your significant other be free, my friend. Let them shine. Let them fly. You are both the transformation the world needs to see. You are both the “one” that can change the world by following your own earthly journey. You can only love another by giving them soul freedom and by stopping all behaviors of energetic demanding, fearing and draining. They may be an angel on your path if they have led you to all of this awareness so that now, you can now find your way HOME to YOU. If they are the one with this behavior, you may be the angel on their path that gives them awareness and peace someday. Most people were brought together for a reason in this lifetime, although many times it is not the reason you originally thought: to finally “make you happy and fulfilled”. The divine Universe has led you to uncover the LIGHT and LOVE that YOU are through these broken connections, and the resulting awareness.

Become your own True Love

Start to be the master you are by truly connecting with yourself this very day. Pray. Meditate. Cry. Say sorry to your significant other for enslaving them, and say sorry to yourself for creating all that you have lived up until this point. No one can alleviate your deep loneliness. You are simply longing for YOU! Start to love yourself at this very moment.

Resonate with people who vibrate on a higher level to compliment your life

If your significant other is not willing to do their work, acknowledge, or stop their energetic demands on you, the kindest thing you can do for both of you, is walk away. Surround yourself with aware people who listen to and honor their souls and inner knowing. Surround yourself with people who have a high vibration, who resonate with their heart, who do not energetically pull and demand from you, who let you FLY! These people give off LIGHT and LOVE because of their enthusiasm for their own journey and their passion for themselves! These are the relationships that will strengthen and nurture you as you step into your own Self Mastery! These are the connections you have always dreamed to have with other humans, all possible now that you have found YOU!

Live the life of your dreams. Now. Today.

You are the biggest love of your life!

If you think what I just said is hogwash I want you to think about popular tv.  I am not talking about the conscious or even academic community, I am talking about the average American male.  I have seen countless commercials where the wife knows best and the husband is pretty much just one of the children.

I have also seen many movies and tv shows that emphasize the Homer Simpson, Fry from Futurama, or Peter Griffin from Family Guy vibe.  What is going on here?  When did it become ok or funny to treat men like they are dumb children for the amusement of others?

Now I know that we all make mistakes and it can be healthy to laugh at them, but the theme of putting men down or using humor at the expense of our powerful and gentle males is something I feel we need to change in our world.

What makes me sad is when I hear women talk about their male partners like they wouldn’t stand a chance on their own.  I am ashamed to admit that I used to be apart of this culture.  The one that has decided that in order to feel like a powerful woman I have to put men down.  I decided a while ago that I am done with that behavior and I am calling on women everywhere to step up, expect the best from your male partners and empower them to show you their true limitless potential.

It is only through working together that we can heal this world and make it a better place.  So here are 5 signs that you may be dating a “man child” and it is time that you honor the god within him and expect better.  Love him in a way that makes him want to show you his very best or use this as a sign that it is time to move on.

If you are a man reading this article and you resonate with any of these 5 signs it is time for you to step up and show this world that you are a powerful being by redefining what it means to be a unique, gentle, sensitive and powerful male.

1. You Have To “Pick Up” After Him: 

First of all, if you have already been doing this then you need to stop.  You are enabling a co-dependency that is already out of hand.  If you have had to regularly pick up his clothes, dishes, or food around your or his living space in order to be comfortable then this is a sign.

Another more serious sign in this section is if you find that you are picking up his unpaid debts, covering his side of meals when he has already agreed to pay, or picking out birthday or holiday presents for his family.  These are things he should be handling himself.  When you do it for him you are setting him up for failure.  I’m not saying don’t help him out but if you are doing it the majority of the time then this is another sign.

The last area of picking up after him is emotionally.  If you bail him out when he has issues at work, with his family or his friends and take the responsibility off of his shoulders you aren’t helping anyone.  Making excuses for his poor choices and cleaning up his social and emotional messes doesn’t allow him to grow or learn from them.  This is one of those cases when we think we are helping him but truly we are not.

2. Talk of Commitment or Children Brings Panic To His Eyes: 

Slow and steady wins the race, so if you have been together for a while and panic comes to him whenever you talk about the future this is a sign.  We should always be able to talk about the future in a calm responsible way and express concerns.

When you are dating someone talking about commitment and your future desires is a way to evaluate whether or not you are a good match for each other.  If you cannot talk about shared life goals then you may not have any.  Panic, anger, avoidance, deflection are all warning signs and you may need to have a heart to heart with him.

3. You Feel as though you have to Nag Him Constantly:

No one wants to nag people or continuously remind someone of their obligations and responsibilities.  If he is too old to be living with his mother then he is too old for you to be constantly reminding him of his promises to you, others and his general obligations.  He needs to start using a calendar, to do list, set an alarm on his phone and manage his own tasks.

If he struggles to follow through with plans, projects or commitments then this is a sign.  When you kindly remind him of his promises does he get angry with you?  If he cannot own his side of his own agreements and you hold him to a high standard of follow through then the consequences need to rest fully on him.  Unfortunately, that will probably cause you and others to stop trusting him.

Just remember that you cannot cushion him or rescue him from his own lack of follow through.  A responsible adult only commits to what they can reasonably handle.  If for some reason they are unable to complete a task then they need to work it out with whomever they made the agreement with.  Communication, follow up, creative thinking and follow-through are key signs that we need to be on the lookout for.

Basically, if you feel like the parent of a teenager then there is an unbalance in your relationship and something needs to change.

4. He Avoids Having Serious Conversation: 

If you come to him wanting to express your feeling and connect on a deeper level and he plays it off like it is a joke or makes light of it that may be a big sign that he is uncomfortable with his own feeling and hasn’t matured emotionally.

The last thing a ‘Man Child’ wants is for you to tell him that there is a problem in your relationship.  Problems happen and part of having an equal and healthy partnership is working through them with open honest communication and action.

If you bring an issue up in a calm and respectful way and he does whatever he can to change the subject, distract or back out of the conversation then this is a sign.  Another way to tell if this is going on is to check your feelings.  Do you feel unresolved?  Do you feel like you aren’t able to get to the core of a problem with your partner?  Then there may be a problem there.

5. His Friend/Interests/Humor Carries a Heavy Middle School Vibe:

When your partner goes out and spends time with his friends does he come home acting like an adolescent?  Have you noticed that he can’t set healthy limits with alcohol, or other substances?  Maybe you see him pulling childish pranks or using middle school humor.

Some people seem to never grow up.  There is a time for respectful humor and there is a time to be serious and make sure that everyone is having a good time.  Humor and pranks at the expense of others doesn’t accomplish this.

As strong powerful adult women, we seek intimacy and deep adult conversations from our partners.  We are looking for equals, team-mates, life partners, and best friends.  We want someone we can run hand in hand with, travel the world, and be there for each other when times are hard.  We aren’t afraid of a challenge and we need someone next to us that won’t run away when times are tough either.

If you found that way too many of the signs above resonated with you and your situation then it is time that you ask yourself why you are in a lopsided relationship.  Real lasting change starts with you.  Decide today that you will not put up with these behaviors and that you will no longer enable child like behavior.

Don’t be afraid of growing beyond your partner and moving on.  Encourage, empower and love him but don’t be an adult for him.  It may be time that you move forward and keep working on and growing yourself.

Healthy partners don’t get jealous of each others accomplishments.  So don’t let anyone limit your growth.

What have you found that helps you avoid or resolve unbalanced relationships?  Let us know your experiences in the comments below.

Sources-

psychologytoday

Image credit: rapgenius.com

Well on some level as you get to know someone the signs will be there and if you are looking with non-biased eyes then you will see them.

What I believe happens a lot of the time, especially as empaths, is that we meet someone with a few traits that we like and then we decide that we can fix or just deal with the parts of that person that are actually major red flags.  If the guy is smart and funny but is only interested in your body then that is a sign.

Also, if the person you are thinking about being with only wants to be around you because they feel that they can fix you then that is also a big sign.

When we care about someone we often get sucked up in the emotions we are feeling and end up blind to what is really going on.  So if you want to make sure that you don’t get caught up in a stagnant or draining relationship then check these 6 things every so often in your relationship to make sure that you are not missing any important red flags.

1. Your Friends or Family don’t like the person you are dating. 

It can be really hard to hear that your friends or family don’t like the person you are with.  Though your family might not always approve it is good to create a level of trust and transparency with them that makes it easy for them to voice any concerns that they might see.

Don’t get upset if they do come to you with concerns.  Listen, ask questions and try to understand where they are coming from and what they are seeing.  No one wants to get years into a bad relationship only to find out that your family and friends saw what was wrong the whole time.

2. You see inconsistency, excuses, and get confusing timelines from your partner.

We all want to trust people and we also want to be trusted.  There is a lot that goes into a relationship and if there isn’t trust and transparency then you really don’t have a strong foundation.

One of the ways to tell if your partner is telling the truth is to see if they are giving you a large number of excuses or are inconsistent.  If they say one thing and then do another then that is a sign that you need to look into.

Another important way to tell if your partner is prone to lying is see how they interact with others.  Regardless of the reason if you see inconsistencies in how they interact with other people then that is a sign.

Do they lie, exaggerate, or manipulate others?  If the answer is yes, that may mean that they are doing all of those things to you too.  It just may be more subtle.

3. Your relationship is progressing too fast.

Slow and steady wins the race.  This principle is true for relationships as well as for life.  If your partner is trying to jump into high levels of commitment before you are ready then you may need to ask yourself why.

Are they afraid of losing you if they don’t tie you down fast?  Are they afraid that if you get to know them better then you will leave?  These are all legitimate questions.

Now it is possible that they feel rushed due to excitement because they met you and frankly you are an awesome person.  Just remember though, that there is something awesome and super romantic about a relationship that is grounded, slow and each partner takes the time to get to know each other.

4. Your Partner doesn’t have many friends.

If your partner has a hard time making or keeping friends then they may not be good at true closeness.  Long term relationships will gently become more close and synchronistic.  The lone wolf mentality doesn’t work for this.

The opposite may also be true, does your partner have a lot of friends but isn’t close with any of them?  If your partner is a social butterfly but doesn’t have any close emotional connections with them then that may be a big sign that will hurt down the road.

5. Your Partner uses a lot of alcohol or other heavy substances.

Occasional and moderate uses of some substances isn’t necessarily harmful.  What I am talking about is if your partner has a hard time being sober.  A healthy balanced person can handle their life completely sober and doesn’t use substances to escape or run away from their feelings.

Even if they seem happy it may be wise to evaluate how they are completely sober for a while to make sure that they aren’t subconsciously hiding a bunch of issues that may surface later in your relationship.

6. You often feel drained after being around your partner.

Sometimes we don’t notice anything off when we are with someone but then afterwards we are drained.  I’m not talking about after a night at the gym or a dance party drained.  I am talking about an emotional draining that leaves us feeling worn out and mentally fried.  This may be a big sign that there is an unbalance in the energy of your relationship.

Separately none of these red flags are necessarily deal breakers but if you start to see more than one it may be time for a heart-to-heart to evaluate what is really going on and if you need to make some adjustments in your life.

Teamwork is often needed to heal core issues, but we need to make sure that we are not being drained or abused on the way.

What red flags do you look for in your relationships?  Let us know your tricks and experiences in the comments below.

Sources- www.psychologytoday.com

Image Credit:ytimg.com

Here is what your messages may look like.

“Hey, I’d love to hang out with you! But unfortunantly I am really busy.”

“Sorry, I didn’t get back to you earlier! I have been so busy.”

“How am I doing? You know, just busy like always!”

If you haven’t guessed it already the trigger word that is slowly sabotaging your relationships is the word “busy”. Though it may seem harmless you are actually pushing your friends away every time you use it. There are 2 main reasons why you should find a way to cut this word and the underlying problems it represents from your life as soon as possible.

I just want to be clear that being active and engage in your life is nothing to be sorry for. Being busy in itself isn’t bad but there is a subtle underlying message that will unconsciously push your friends and family away.

Here are some things to remember.

1. Nearly Everyone is Busy.

We live in a fast-paced culture where nearly everyone is busy. Most people are in school, have jobs, take care of kids, or all of the above. There are extracurricular activities, projects, and hobbies that pile up and take time too.

Being busy is actually pretty close to saying that you are alive these days. You can be busy playing a video game, working, designed a new art project, vacationing, or simply painting your nails. Because the word busy is so widely used it has almost started to become meaningless.

The vague nature of the word busy can also lead other people to feel that maybe you are just not interested in spending time with them anymore.

2. Being busy It’s Open to an often Negative Interpretation.

When being busy is part of living a full life, saying you are busy starts to sound like your important activities are more important than someone else’s activities.

Even though you may be honest in what you are saying and may even be implying that you would rather be spending time with them rather than working so much they may be hearing the opposite.

There will be times that we are legitimately busy. Where what we are working on takes our full focus because we are engaged in something important to us. When we are busy it is strongly recommended that we find another way to word what we are doing so that our friends know that they are still important to us while we finish up what we are doing.

Here are some tricks to help you reduce your use of the word busy and stay connected with your friends.

1. Don’t be Vague.

The easiest way to keep connected with your friends without using the word busy is by telling them briefly what you are doing. It may take a bit more time, but it takes the guessing out of the relationship. Instead of your friend wondering what is going on and why they cannot get ahold of you keep them involved with your life by giving them an idea of what you are up to.

“I would love to hang out but, I am at Justin’s ball game. I hope you guys have an awesome time!”

“Tonight Rick and I are working on an awesome new solar panel technology! I am excited to hear how the movie is, I have wanted to see that one.”

Doesn’t that feel a lot better than “I would love to, but I am really busy.”

2. Set a Specific Time Frame if you can.

If you are going to be busy for a while because of finals or a big project at work, it can help to let your friends know when you will no longer be busy. That way they can reconnect with you once things get less chaotic and you can both look forward to some fun times.

Even if the timeframe has to be adjusted, letting your friends know how long you think you will be occupied will mean a lot to them in the end.

“Hey I have this big deadline for the new electric car designs at work this week but I should be free next weekend if you want to do something then?”

3. Check yourself to see if you actually are avoiding that person.

Sometimes we actually are avoiding spending time with or talking to a friend or family member. We look for excuses to avoid their call and make what we are doing sound a lot more important than it really is in order to stay away from them.

It’s almost like we subconsciously hope that they will just fade away into the distance and we won’t have to face whatever it is that we are really avoiding. Sometimes this type of being busy is called ghosting. It is where you distance yourself without even explaining why. Sometimes this is because of an argument or disagreement but other times it is more subtle than that.

I know I have been guilty of this one before. After being around someone who was draining emotionally, I used to find that I was too tired or busy for them the next time they called. It is times like this that I really need to be honest with myself about how I am feeling.

If this is why you are finding that you are busy then it might be time to have a heart-to-heart conversation with the person. It is much better for you and them if you sit down, be honest with how you feel and see if you can resolve the issue or if it is best to move forward seperatly.

In the end, we should phase out using the word busy and make sure the next time you are with your friend that you take the time to fully engaged and be present with them so that they can feel how much you care about them.

What do you do to keep good communication in your relationships? Let us know your experiences in the comments below.

Sources-

www.psychologytoday.com

Image Credit: huffpost.com